Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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