She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
