Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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