dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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