I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am one with the molecules
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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