But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
