ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
