He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We are two peas in an std pod
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
