My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
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Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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