Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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