Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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