While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
