Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
