thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
