Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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