evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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