I could have mohawked her pubes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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