WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
