I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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