Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
