You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
