I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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