When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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