grandma shit on top of the toilet
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
