dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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