Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
