That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
