Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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