Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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