I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Randomize
