so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize