If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
