Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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