You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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