I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
