OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
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I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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