my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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