You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So vagazzling was a success
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
