If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
