My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
