I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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