sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I want her autograph on my taint
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
