the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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