If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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