i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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