Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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