Where did you get a picture of my penis
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
