That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
