Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
