my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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