The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
