Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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