i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
