im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
