when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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