You made me cry and you don't even care
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
