my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
