Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
