oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
