He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
