Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
